![]() Ask open-ended questions that invite them to elaborate or speculate.In doing so, you demonstrate that you are attuned to the speaker. Repeat key words or phrases and repeat them, but don’t comment on them.The opposite of speaking isn’t waiting to speak again. Avoid thinking about what you’re going to say next.This may include changing the setting for the conversation. Give the person your full and undivided attention and eliminate environmental distractions.Whether talking with a young person who is struggling, or a colleague who is facing a dilemma, consider your active listening skills and identify areas that you may need to attend to. The key, though, is to avoid getting pulled into their emotions. But listening to them can help them feel heard and perhaps even help resolve the issue. You may, or may not, have the same concerns or experiences as the other person. Your instinct to take care of another person often starts with listening to their concerns. These same techniques work well with colleagues who are processing something that they find challenging. Simply repeating back impactful words and phrases they have said or written can open up their insight into understanding themselves. Think of yourself as a mirror that reflects what the student is saying. Nichols, author of The Lost Art of Listening, advises using active listening techniques “to let them be themselves while continue to be ” (Nichols, 1995, p. ![]() Resist the urge to connect it to your personal experiences, as the goal is for students to understand themselves, not you. Your response will prove to be a crucial moment during conversations with a student who is struggling emotionally. Gordon (2003) incorporated these into a teacher effectiveness training program as a means for educators to interact constructively with students. Rogers, developed “I” messages to build empathetic listening and reflective thinking. ![]() Carl Rogers, who pioneered nondirective therapy, believed that power was often used to shut down conversations. This is an essential social skill for educators. We contribute to the belonging of others when we engage in active listening. How can we be there for them, and accept them, when they are not their best selves? “My teacher doesn’t like _, and neither do I.” Being an educator means accepting a truth: young people will not always be at their best. Consequently, other children internalize this. Peer rejection further undercuts a student’s sense of belonging. But what about those that don’t? Our acceptance or rejection of a student telegraphs a powerful message to peers. It’s easier to build a sense of belonging in the classroom with students who already possess the prosocial skills and academic prowess that we equate with school success. And it makes sense, right? When faced with adversity, students with stronger ties to school are more likely to persevere. In other words, those who experienced higher degrees of belonging where more likely to possess a higher degree of academic hardiness (Abdollahi, & Noltemeyer, 2018). One study of more than 500 high school students found that school belonging had a mediating effect on academic hardiness. Challenge is the perception that a difficulty is also an opportunity to learn. Control speaks to the sense that one can manage academic stresses. Commitment is the willingness to persevere when circumstances are difficult. The construct of academic hardiness describes three important elements necessary for school success: commitment, control, and challenge. However, newer research has shown a light on the relationship between belonging and academic hardiness. A student’s sense of belonging in school has long been associated with their achievement. Chief among these is gaining a sense of belonging.īelonging in the context of schooling means that a young person feels accepted, respected, included, and supported. Our students’ academic progress, we have come to understand, hinges on their ability to utilize their emotional skills. Yet so many caring educators rose to the challenge by fiercely committing to do so no matter what the odds. We have witnessed firsthand how much we depended on our ability to learn about our students and communicate with them, and the difficulties that resulted when we were forced to do so virtually. The social and emotional lives of our students is of paramount concern, especially as we enter the third year of pandemic teaching.
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